Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
