I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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