Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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