Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
