if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
