If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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