I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
