Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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