All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize