Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
