grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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