You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
