who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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