I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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