Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
