your room smells of hookers.
And success
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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