YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The feeling are messing with the penis
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
