nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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