So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So squirting runs in the family.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
