I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
