Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
