dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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