I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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