Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
