rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
