i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
