Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
