she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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