life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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