If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
