I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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