You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize