so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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