he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
4 words: hood of his car
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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