I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just found a bag of teeth...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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