no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
