He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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