i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
