Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
