Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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