Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Randomize
