So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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