He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
