Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize