My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
