Betty ford says i'm here all night
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
