this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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