thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
