I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
