I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
