I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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