He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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