its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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