My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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