well I can't set my house on fire every night
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
