I'm drive I can fine osifer
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
