he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
