somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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