i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't deserve a penis
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
